Hit the Sirens and wake up

I'm alarmed about quite a few news items that hit the headlines this week.

1. The Sharks lost to the Lions. Tragedy. At least they beat Province otherwise I'd have to dress in full mourning.


2. My daughter can now obtain contraceptives and have an abortion without my knowledge or consent. Bollocks. I'll kill her first. Ok. So we talked about it. She agrees it's bollocks. I still threatened to kill her. She feels this is the better alternative and we have a new mantra. Boys are bad. Repeat.


3. The crime stats are up. No surprise there but I was surprised to learn that it's my fault. Yep. Because we have taken measures to secure ourselves and our homes (at the governments' insistence), this has led to an increase in violent armed robberies and murder. We invite the $#@! to kill us. Bollocks. When public servants learn what service is, send me an invitation.


4. The public service strike is over. Can't say I noticed a difference.


5. We may soon be Darkest Africa. Eskom employees are going on strike. Notice how this is scheduled in the middle of winter.